If you had to describe your life as a body of water would you want to say a stagnant pond? Really? that would be gross. Think about it, you would be all mossy and filled with misquetio eggs. YUCK! I would want to be anything but a stagnant pond. I would even settle for a rain drop, because a rain drop could one day fall into something awesome like a garden and produce food and feed a whole family.
If you are wondering where I am going with this be patient, because this is going to take awhile. The last time I wrote about my future I mentioned Covenant House and New York and continuing to volunteer with children/ teens who have seen the hard part of life. No worries, after this year in Kentucky I wouldn't do anything else, but have a career working with abused children/ teens.
So, Covenant house was the next step and after my first interview I was told I wouldn't have a lot of choices on where and when, but I was told it was a likely I would be volunteering at a Covenant House by August 2012. My lack of wanting to be idle and wanting to still be loved by my parents, I started to look into taking some classes while I was home. My plan was to work full time take a some classes and use my Americore money and the money I saved to pay off half of my student loans. the other half would be less scary since it would only be $6, 000. If I work full time I could be debt free by the time I went to volunteer at Covenant House. This was my plan and I thought it was pretty amazing. I was spending my evenings after the children were asleep researching classes at UMSL and looking for jobs in the area.
Then something happened, Covenant House asked me to prepare to go to their orientation during the summer. Life always seems to throw curveballs. I had my plans set and then I was forced to make a choice earlier than I wanted to. I had two choices. I could hold off on Covenant House and go back to college and graduate this time with any degree and get a job working with abused children. Or I could get some jobs to pay off my loans, wait another two years to return to college and be ready to jump on a plane to whereever Covenant House sends me. I really wanted to just have a middle ground where I took some fun classes at UMSL and leave for Covenant House in January or August 2012. Instead I was forced to be an adult and decide what is best for me.
In the end I realized that if I waited on Covenant house to say jump I was going to be wasting time. I would be stagnant in my life just treading water so I don't drown. I wouldn't be moving forward with my education and I wouldn't be moving closure to any of my dreams either. I would be stagnant until someone or something gave me a push. Once I thought about myself being stagnant I thought about what stagnant water produces and the first thing that jumped into my mind was... MISQUETIOS! I hate misquetios, they bite me and I am really bad at not itching a bug bite.
I will be honest I would love to be a stagnant pond. I know what being a stagnant pond would be like: wake up, eat, work, play, sleep. This whole being fluid, being open to change, and moving forward with my future is more than terrifying. I would hit some rapids and fall down a water fall. I have to keep reminding myself that all stagnant water produces is blood sucking misquetios and misquetios don't seem to do much for the world (but spread Malaria).
In case you missed it, I am going back to Saint Louis and back to school. I am living at home (to help save money), attending UMSL (unless a rapid appears in my near future), and working part time to save up for later. I was debating what I should do with my Americore and I decided the smartest thing would be go full-time (to defer loan repayment) and use my Americore to pay off my first and possibly second semester at UMSL. Hopefully I will graduate in 2013 and then get a job with Covenant House or a place that works with abused children.
