We had a lovely Lice epidemic this past week and now we are full too the brim with people. Which is okay, because it brings a new atmosphere to the place. More people means it is crazier, but new people means change and new people.
This Wednesday I went to this work shop about not going crazy while working at a high stress job in social work. I don't know how much I liked it, but it put some things in perspective. First off I realized that I so don't take myself seriously and it is better to let go and move on then hold onto anger. I know I struggle sometimes with getting mad at people and not liking them when they mess up another time. I'll let go of the incident, but once they do the same thing again I get upset and think, "that blank, is just a mess and is driving me crazy". But now I know that it is better to let go and let live. Who cares if things get messed up, because honestly things will workout in the end. Which I knew that before this workshop, but it was a good reminder. Actually Gd wasn't mentioned at all in her talk, but I incorporate God into everything I learn. Which I haven't decided if that is a good or a bad thing. I feel it might actually be a good thing, but who knows.
Anyways on the topic about God, I have still been mad at God. I know I am only 20 years old, but I start thinking about my future and it makes me upset, because honestly why am I in Kentucky working an domestic abuse shelter? I know it is what God wants from me, but I couldn't believe he asked me to do this. I just couldn't get over the fact that god wouldn't let me live the "normal" life. I know I really don't want the "normal life". This "normal life" is where I am actually in love with the guy who has been courting me for the past few years and after he gets his things in place: get a job, buys a house, and finally meets my family we would go off and get married. But no God wouldn't let me fall in love with the "perfect" man for me. And I won't lie I have been mad at God for awhile about this. So last night I prayed and asked him to explain why he did this to me. Well here is a hint about praying to God and asking for things... he gives you more than what you ask for. On the way driving home from a fast run to the Dollar General there was this whole conversation about how God has this plan for us and if we don't do what he wants for us we will never be happy. I didn't have this huge crying fit, but I finally got it. God gave me this life, because he has ten times better plans for me than anyone (even me) could even have for me. It has been the first time that I have been here that I understand that not only is this just a step towards the awesome plan God has for me, but this is where I need to be and it doesn't matter how or why I am here. All that matter at this point is that this is where I need to be and I need to accept it and not worry about if I am or not qualified for this job, because people are stuck with me here and they are gonna just have to deal.
